Friday, December 14, 2012

Project 52 {50}

My favorite thing about you:
You need to figure things out for yourself.

f/1.8 1/80 ISO-100

This project was all her.  From what's inside to wrapping it, to writing out the tag, curling the ribbon - Her.  She picked out the gift, the paper, the color of ribbon and the tag.  She was bent on doing it herself.  Was it perfect?  Yes.  Because I didn't have to do it, and because she succeeded in wrapping it.  She asked for help when she needed it (sometimes wrapping presents takes more than two hands, especially almost six year old hands).  

And before I get too into this, it was Christmas hat day at school - she wasn't just wearing that because she was wrapping presents, she seriously hasn't taken it off since she put it on at about 9:00 this morning. 

Both of my kids have an inherent need to do things for themselves.  Gee, I wonder where that comes from.  Yeah, I'm sure lots of kids are like this, it's kind of a kid trait.  It seems like mine have been like this from birth:  happy to figure things out - legos, writing, getting dressed...  Time permitting, I try my best to let them struggle through on their own, but dude, that's tough.  I know they need to do it for themselves, but so help me, sometimes we need to make it out the door in the next four hours.  But those times when I unleash holy patience on them and actually allow them to fight through on their own, the sense of their accomplishment is so rewarding (not just for them). 

Having patience with my kids is something I need to practice.  A lot.  I'm crappy at it.  Yes, I admitted it.  My name is Meghan, and I lack patience with my children (you can go ahead and take away this week's mom of the year prize too).  I wish things would happend when I want.  I wish they would happen how I want.  But you know what my father-in-law says about wishing? 

"You can wish in one hand and {poop} in the other and see which one fills up."  
-Glenn Roberson

And it's true.  I can wish all day long that they would figure it out, but unless I give up my do/go now schedule(every once in a while, at least), grab some patience by the short hairs and hunker down, they'll never learn and I'll be doing it for them till the day they leave for college - and that's just fact.  So a little bit of patience on my end now, truly can go a long way.  And God willing, one day I'll never have to wrap anyone's presents but hers, because she can do it for me!

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Monday, December 10, 2012

Project 52 {49}

My favorite thing about you:
You fight

f/2.8 1/60 ISO-320

Herein lies another of those moments when you fear that I may have finally lost my marbles.  Rest assured, most marbles are in fact present and accounted for.  Today.  Yup, I like it when my kids fight.  You are permitted to ask me "Why you crazy lady, WHY?!".  Well for one, because when they do it with one another, they're not doing it with me.  But also because they take nothing from each other.  Yes, they get physical sometimes (okay, about 50%), and that's (usually) when I step in (hey, I lost Mother of the Year long ago - I might as well shoot for meanest).  Lastly, some of their fights are just down right entertaining to me (until they get whiney).  

This week we have finally begun teaching the boy that it's never, okay to hit a girl.  No, not even your sister.  I know.  She can't hit him either, but it's a total double standard because if he hits first, she can absolutely whale back.  And she does.  But that's the end.  It's never allowed the other way around.  Like I said: Double Standard.  But it's important to drill home respect of the women in your lives and while it starts with modeling behavior at home, and reiterating that montessori phrase:  "USE. YOUR. WORDS." it comes down to the fact that she's a girl and you never, ever lay a hand on one.  Did I say ever?  Ever.  So there.

So, here's what this all boils down to:  Fighting is fine.  You can fight over what color the towels are, the fact that one of you always cleans up more than the other, or even that the other is sitting too close and breathing on you (yes, they've fought about this).  You may not use your hands, feet or other body parts.  Fighting is healthy communication when done the right way.  Though if we continue on this path, I'm investing in a few of those giant sumo suits and a Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots set.  We'll start settling stuff my way...

Saturday night we took the kids to the Electric Safari, we came around the corner and saw the fighting kangaroos.  Jeff says "Look!  It's Haley & Kale!" So they stood over it and played around with each other.  I stood there and took the picture.


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Monday, December 3, 2012

Project 52 {48}

My favorite thing about you:
You're game.

f/3.5 1/80 ISO100 (Flash - Obviously)

Got some hair-brained awesome idea?  Talk to my kids.  They're up for it.  Can you sell it as "Quite possibly the greatest thing they'll ever do.  In their entire lives!"?  Totally game.  My kids are most definitely "yes" people.  At almost 6 and 4.5 years old, my kids think little about their decisions.  And that's great.  They don't consider their limitations, because at that age, lets be honest:  The only thing that could possibly hold them back is their size.  We have little concept of the "Risk of life or limb" idea.  And while I'm sure that running with the bulls, or skydiving would be really great, I am not one of those people.  I strive to be, but sometimes I just want to sit in the house with my covers pulled up to my chin and watch a little television.  

We talked a bit this week about the idea of courage, and that's something my kids have in spades. We're not a family who believes in a lot of fear (though, as a mother, I have enough for all four of us.  Times infinity.  But never let them see you scared).  We dismiss the idea of being afraid of the dark.  Rather, if it's something that makes you uncomfortable; fix it.  Turn the bathroom light on yourself.  Don't like the thunder?  Lets find a way to make it less scary - discuss how it occurs, a way to think or rationalize around it.  Things you understand are far less threatening.  Afraid that you physically can't do something?  Most of the time the worst thing that can happen is that you can't and with a little practice, that can change.  Being afraid of failure is absolutely unacceptable for these two.  It's my job to make sure that they know with preparation and support anything is possible.  That's not to say that failure is unacceptable.  It absolutely is.  But to use fear as a means to keep you from even trying... nuh-uh.  

All of this to tell you that this week we went to the city's Parade of Lights with our good friends.  We all packed into my car and headed down to the madness.  It was a great time, with hot chocolate, and pretty amazing peanut butter (and jelly in a container, not on your PBJ) sandwiches.  Side note:  if you have a PB & Jellies near you:  GO!!  The kids saw a pretty well make-upped Jacob Marley, rattling his chains right at them.  Scared the crap out of them.  But with a little discussion (and distraction) before bed, we were able to talk through the fear of him.  We moved on and one fewer thing in this world for them to be afraid of.  Because, being honest again:  As they grow there will be plenty of time and things for them to be afraid of.  But if you let fear keep you from doing things, you'll never accomplish anything of greatness.  Be game for whatever life has headed your way.  

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