And then one day we were a family of four

There's a baby boom abound right now, and lots of friends are having their second wee ones.  When Haley came around she was right in the middle.  Some of my friends had their first already, some were pregnant right along with me and others were still about to travel down that road.  But when Kale came along, I was one of the front runners to have #2.  Mostly, because we made the decision to have our kids close together... 17 months apart to be exact.  Haley was just 6 months old when we tried (and succeeded) with Kale.  We got lots of "you know where babies come from right?" and "WOW, couldn't keep your hands off each other" and "Are you crazy?!" comments.  (Mostly) These were answered with "Yup, we actually planned it this way", and even started prefacing it with "Yes, we planned this."  People right?  But my sister and I are a tiny 15 months apart and I really appreciate the relationship we have, being a military family I wanted my kids to have a built in best friend that would always be around.  

I was incredibly focused on their relationship, the transition for Haley, and the fact that the second time around was going to be a boy.  A boy!  Coming from a family with lots of girls, the boy thing was completely new to me, and I was consumed with all things blue and what a contrast they were to the sea of pink we were currently in.  I completely glossed over the transition from a family of three to a family of four. My thought was "I'm a good mom and I can handle it". 

I stay at home with my kids and have been lucky enough since weeks before Haley was born.  She and I had a great, close relationship, and I was wholly unprepared for what adding another into the mix would feel like.  I planned for the transition for her, we talked about having a brother, and how he would be tiny and need lots of Mommy's attention.  We talked about how you need to be gentle, and speak softly, but she was only 17 months (walking for only 3 months!).  

The day Kale arrived was mostly uneventful, we had a planned c-section so I just hung out till it was my turn.  But in those "stewing hours" I began to freak out a little... What had I done to Haley?  It would no longer be the two of us/the three of us.  There would be this newcomer.  Would he fit in?  How would he fit in?  Oh my gosh, it's too late to take this back, we're stuck here, and I've completely destroyed my precious girl.  I even remember thinking that there was no possible way that I was going to love him as much as her, my heart just wasn't big enough.  Funny how those hormones work isn't it?  

So.  Here are 10 things that I wish I had been told, right then, in those moments:

1.  Yes, no matter how much you love #1, you will love #2 equally.  But maybe not right at first in the same way.  Remember when #1 was born and you loved them right away?  That love has evolved into the kind where you know them inside and out.  You have to get to know #2, but you'll get there.  You'll still love them right away and you won't even realize when it changes to the inside out kind.  I promise.

2.  You haven't destroyed your relationship with #1 by bringing in #2.  You've strengthened it.  And it's okay that they no longer get 100% of your attention during the day, they're going to be better people because of it.  I promise.

3.  By making them the older sibling, you haven't forced them to grow up before they're ready.  They're still the same kid you had before #2.  I promise.

4.  It's okay to put #2 down and snuggle up with #1 in the hospital bed, and when they'd rather play with with whatever cool medical stuff they can find in the hospital room, it doesn't mean they're taking anything out on you.  I promise.  

5.  You're going to have a split second when you're going to wonder about #2 and if they'll be as great as #1.  They will be.  I promise.  

6.  When you're feeding #2 and #1 does something terrible, they're not trying to tell you you're a bad parent.  They're testing your boundaries.  This might sound totally rational now, but the thought will cross your mind. You're a great parent.  I promise.  

7.  There will come times when you'll have to choose between the two and #1 will get the short end of the stick.  It's okay.  You can make it up to them later.  They won't hold it against you, and they'll still turn into good people.  I promise.  

8.  It's okay to call your friends and freak out a little.  Call one that already has two kids.  She understands.  I promise.  

9.  Trust your "Mommy Sense".  You know what you're doing this time around.  I promise.

10.  Everything's going to be fine.  There's a happy ending.  You'll sleep again someday.  I promise.   

Project 52 {2}

My favorite thing about you is:

The way you love and take care of each other.

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Most days the two of you flip back and forth in a never ending circle of loving each other and driving the other up the wall (which, in turn, drives me up the wall).  You are each other's best friend.  Your very first and most important best friend; and I've been here from the very beginning to watch this amazing friendship grow.  When one of you is hurt, the other runs over as fast as you can and gives the best and most sincere hug, you can see how badly you want the other to feel better (even if you're the one who caused the hurt).  You miss the other when they're not around.  When you send each other off to school, you each get the last hug before you head off into class and the first one when we come to pick you up, and in the in between time, you hardly know how to play by yourself.  Watching you love each other is one of the best parts about being your mom.

When I took this picture, I truly meant to document their feet, together.  If they're anything like me, they're going to be growing at a rapid rate, and for this brief moment in time, they're pretty much the same size (though, in about a month, Kale will officially be a whole size bigger than her, I'm sure of it).  I was going to talk about their steps into the world and how they should be sure to take them together.  I don't think that's going to be an issue.

Also, Kale will tell you that winter in Colorado (when you're three) is the only time you are (EVER) allowed to wear socks and Crocs.

Want to check out some other super great Project 52 eye candy?

 . Styleberry . Wicked Kate . Adventures in Mommyhood .  Lucas & Mahina . Heather Marie Portraits . Something Insightful .  

Can I link you too?  Leave me a comment.

Project 52 {1}

My Favorite thing about you...

Is how much you love school.

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Haley, today you turned 5! FIVE... F.I.V.E. FIVE! That's a whole entire hand! Instead of dropping you off at the door with a boat load of cupcakes to celebrate with your classmates, your dad and I got the opportunity to be there. Right there. With you. We experienced your excitement at being the leader, heard your show and tell, and got to sing "Happy Birthday" with your classmates. I love seeing you interact with your friends, getting to know your teachers and helping with the craft projects. Both of you love school. Nothing makes my heart happier because I loved school too. I hope that your love of learning is something you take with you your entire lives.

So... Yeah. It's been more than a year since I've blogged. My sister told me (at Halloween) that it was time to post something since it had been since last Halloween that I had done anything with it. I honestly can't tell you what the blog even looks like right now, it's been so darn long. I can tell you though, that it needs to be updated.

So here it is the first week of 2012 and I've vowed three things this year: Get fit (again), blog more often, and work on my new (favorite) hobby: photography. What better way to do two of the three than with a Project 52. I was inspired by the one my friend Shawna did last year, check out her blog here. I really looked forward to it each Friday, like I hope you'll look forward to mine. She's also doing another one this year and I'd really encourage you to follow her too - you won't be sorry.

For my theme I mulled over a few ideas and up until about 15 minutes ago was convinced that I was going to do "Growing up", but my mind kept nagging me. I didn't want this to be about rushing them through childhood, at 3 and (now) 5, they're just starting to grow up and as I kept looking at the pictures today "My Favorite Thing About you" grabbed hold of me and wouldn't let go. So, there it is. Each week I'll use my pictures to illustrate to my family what my favorite thing about them is. I have lots of favorite things about them. 52 isn't going to begin to cover it. But it's a start.

A little witch and a turtle

So this year we started talking back at the end of August/early September about what in the world the kids wanted to be for Halloween. Kale was always going to be a turtle, the kid loves them and this is likely the last year he's going to just allow me to pick out and make his costume so I found a pattern and went with it. Haley on the other hand... well, there was a point where she was going to be a Strawberry Shortcake/Alice in Wonderland/Cinderella/Witch. I'm really glad we were able to find a focus there because I can't even imagine what that costume would look like otherwise.

Last year I managed to make Kale a really great dinosaur and subsequently learned that following a pattern is definitely not rocket science... at least not for a kids costume. So I figured this year that I could make two costumes if I started early enough. By the end of September/early October I had patterns and supplies and was off and running. Originally I bought a pattern for Haley, but realized that she had a black shirt and tights were only $5 at Wal-Mart so all I had to do was find her a hat, and sew her a tutu.

Here's the great thing about making your kids' costumes: I could make them as warm and modest as I want. Hence, Kale is head to toe fleece because typically, out here in Colorado, it's like -25 degrees and snowing horizontally. Or so I hear, we've been here for three of them and each one has been uncharacteristically warm - like no coats necessary. But just in case I keep my kids as warm as humanly possible. For Haley, I made her skirt a bit longer than a lot of witch costumes out there (and we just won't even talk about some of the older kid costumes coming down the pipe in the coming years). I did this for two reasons, one, a longer tutu is cute - it gives it a bit more room to fluff, and two, this will fit her for a long while - instead of using an elastic waist (hindsight that might have been better but...) I did a satin ribbon tie so she'll be able to wear this thing for a long time.

Yeah... Blah blah blah. Here's what you're waiting for: the pictures.

This is at the zoo. This is the second year we've done their Boo at the Zoo and really enjoy going around to see the animals while we trick or treat at stands set up by lots of local businesses. Below them are the zebras and "G-Raffes", the tree is there for the vultures but it was a perfect scary backdrop.

For actual Halloween we went to our friends' home - they live in a "Socially Superb" neighborhood. My little girl makes a great witch. Also, we found her a kid's sized hat but it didn't have anything on it, and it really needed something so we got this feather boa stuff and I had to hand sew it to the hat - tedious and there is still a ton of purple fluff roaming around my house, but it really completes the outfit.

No, she is not capable of making a normal face in pictures. I think we used them all up for the wedding.

My Dude-a-Turtle. If you asked him, he was a Scary turtle, but mostly he was just cute and mildly uncomfortable with that shell on him. I wish we got a picture of him from behind, it was a really cool shell.

And the family picture. Jeff really wanted to be The Cat In The Hat, but thought this up at the last minute (I'm sure I could have made him an awesome one too). So we found the kids' dress-up costume, tied it around his neck, pinned it in the back and threw a giant afro wig up in the hat to make it stand up - Done! Cat In The Hat. Now, you can't tell in this picture, because, as usual, I'm overtaken by kids, but I'm wearing a pair of Haley's fairy wings, and her tiara from the wedding, my hair was all loopy and cute.

I've decided that once my kids no longer want or need my costume creating services, I'm going to hire myself out... costume sewing is just fun. Also, while the kids got a ton of candy, there were not nearly enough Butterfingers to pay me for making their costumes - bummer. Oh, and BTW, this year we carved some super awesome pumpkins, I could describe them, but honestly... Boring. We did these the Thursday night before Halloween and I stuck them outside thinking we would just get pictures with the kids on Halloween night when we lit them up. Yeah, Friday was hot and the darn things just melted. They literally look like they melted, all of the faces, and designs just fell from the heat. This is especially sad because four of the 7 we carved (we had a total of 9), we grew ourselves in our garden. We didn't even light them up they looked so pitiful. Note to self for next year.

We're raising runners!

We started running a bit more than a year ago and it's kind of stuck. We go do a 5k in downtown Colorado Springs, it starts and finishes at our favorite Irish Pub. We also did that little run back in June. Aside from my personal goals and benefits, I really wanted to set a good fitness example for my kids. I want for them to grow up in a fun and active environment, I want this to be their normal. I want them to spend time outside running and playing and enjoying it as it's something that's taken me till my late 20's to fully embrace. Yes, I was athletic growing up, I loved to swim, but now, I love lots of things and I want my kids to start out being diverse in their activities.

Being that the kids are 2 and 3 there aren't a lot of "organized" things available to them beyond maybe a tumbling class and some soccer theory. So when we heard about the Venetucci Farms 5/10k and the accompanying kids fun runs, we were in! I ran the 5k that morning with a friend and we paid the $5 each for the kids to do a 400m dash. It was a quick lap, Kale was one of the final finishers, and Haley tripped, but they both crossed the finish line with a huge smile on their face and really enjoyed themselves. It didn't hurt that they both got first place ribbons and a pumpkin for running either. We had a great day at the farm with the kids getting some great fresh air and a bit of exercise.

At the starting line... you can see us at the top left of the picture.

Boys club off to a strong start!

And Girls Club coming around the last corner. We went last weekend to support some of our friends who were competing in the Denver Rock n Roll Half Marathon and I couldn't help but look forward to the day when Haley will run on of those too and you'd better believe it'll be Girls Club running there too (which means I'd better get a bit faster and stick with this thing).

Boy's Club finishing the race!

So the rule at the pumpkin patch was, the kids could only pick a pumpkin they could carry out of the patch, they both really pushed that limit. They carried it a good few feet, then they might have got a bit of help (shhh...).

A family picture and again, getting both kids to look at the camera is never easy. This is the best we could do.

On her way to running the world

It's not that I would call my daughter bossy... well... yeah maybe that's the best explanation for her. But a more "parent" term would be to call her a leader, one who takes her responsibilities seriously, or (and this might be my favorite), she's sure of herself and her abilities. This is something that I really try to instill in her. Independence, and self esteem, it's something I sure never lacked at her age and I feel it's served me well. All of this to say that she has found her environment. Haley started Preschool this fall at a really great Co-Op school. Up front Co-Op means that every 6-8 weeks the parents get to go into the classroom to help out the teacher, we provide snacks, and help with clean-up, but I also get a great insight into how my child behaves in an educational environment, one with her peers, not just her brother.

To say that she loves school wouldn't quite let you fully understand what a part of her life this has become. She lives to go to school. When we tell her it's a school night, we might as well tell her Santa's coming too. It's a big deal. We set her clothes out the night before and she always seems to wake up a few minutes earlier on school days. She doesn't complain as much about me doing her hair because it's "for school" and on those occasions when her behavior lacks a little lustre, it's great to be able to hold it over her head. I sure hope that still works when she's in high school.

So I mentioned that we set her clothes out the night before. I'm just going to fess to this before someone rats me out... her dress is on backwards for all of these pictures. For the record, she dressed herself the first morning of school and the only thing that denotes the back of the dress from the front (aside from a tag) is a little button that should be on her collarbone, instead it's on her back shoulder. Whatever. We all made it out the door on time, and she made it to school, what can you do. I guess she and Kale are now even - in his first pictures I put his little Nike's on backwards. Whatever. Go ahead, take away my Mom of the Year prize, I'm sure I've lost it from lots of other infractions, but we just won't go there.

So her backpack is an adorable preschool size pack from the North Face. I thought it was the greatest thing ever. Turns out they send a lot of stuff home in preschool... giant works of art, normal size pieces of paper... lots of things... and a preschool size backpack is actually not anywhere near an appropriate size. Have I replaced it yet? No. I refuse to buy into Dora, and all the other commercial characters until I absolutely have to.

Haley and her good friend Yanni, who also started school the same day, but a different class.

Probably one of my most favorite pictures ever. Ever. EVER.

Dropping her off at the door, this is Mrs. Cooper, Haley's head teacher (there's also Mrs. Rose who's her classroom helper everyday). She was fine, not one tear, or even hint of sadness or nerves, she was ready. Me? Yup, I was fine too, I knew how excited she was and was excited for her, this was the beginning of what Jeff and I can only hope is a long and successful educational career. Kale? He yelled "Sissy!" "Sissy NOW!" all the way down the hall in tears. What would he do with out her? Just so you know... Mom is not nearly as fun to hang out with as Sissy is. But he's figuring it out which is turning out to be a learning process for him too.

Balloon Classic Round 2

On of the things that kind of marks the end of our summer around here is the Annual Balloon Classic that takes place every Labor Day weekend. We went last year (kind of amazing to see how much they've grown since last year), and didn't want to miss out on it again this year. Once again we went early in the morning to watch lift off and some balloons almost didn't make it up since here in Colorado, while it might be nice on the ground, just a few more feet up and it can be a bit nasty, colder temperatures, gustier winds, etc. But most chose to head up and it was another big hit with the kids. Once again we went with some of our great friends and were able to get some fun family pictures, although it seems like the kids tag team on who wants to be the one to smile for the pictures. This day must have been Haley's because Kale is grumping in nearly all of them.

This was actually at the end of the day as we were on our way out. I love it because it's a family picture where we didn't dress-up, it just really represents how we are on a normal day (including me with a ponytail and sunglasses on). The only exception is Dude-a-Man who clearly didn't want his picture taken.

But then there's my little ham, with some "cheese" thrown in. One of the things we worked on before the wedding was a good smile for pictures, this is the byproduct of my hard work. I love this picture of her!

The Girls. It's not uncommon when we head out for us to split into pairs, The Dude prefers "Dude time" with Dad, and Haley likes "Girls Club". We race in almost everything we do as it seems to be the best motivator to get her to do anything and if Girls Club wins, it's a good day, on the occasion that Boys Club beats us... well, we're working on being a good sport which isn't easy to do when you come from two highly competitive parents.

Yup, wouldn't be the Balloon Classic if I didn't have some random scenery pictures of hot air balloons being blown up.

Yeah, this was pretty much the morning. Haley learned how to do "Bunny Ears" for pictures, yup kid, real hilarious and original. None the less, she did them everywhere, so here she is doing that and the boys are wrestling, like they do all. the. time.

MmmmHmmm. More scenery pictures. Or, random picture of a lady taking a picture, your call.

And they're off! They go take a quick dip in a lake, then they head off on their float.

Haley just informed me that in this picture they're playing tag. I think that someday they're going to be embarrassed that I have a picture like this. These two go to the same pre-school and may even start kindergarten together, not to mention they only live right up the street from us. The only thing missing is the Dude, who's usually in on it too.